Here I am

At the beginning of almost every post, I say something along the lines of, "wow, it has been a while." Well, that's what I feel like writing. So yeah... I really wish I could be like, Now is the time I will post an entry EVERY DAY! YEEAAHH!

Let's be real. It is pretty likely that writing in here every day is not going to happen. I just go through spurts where I think about posting something on here, then at the last minute decide not to. I have my reasons. Sometimes I decide it is a little TMI for the world wide web, but most of the time I just forget.

If you are reading this, chances are you saw the link in my Facebook profile. I'm not even sure this will pop up in a search. Meh.

Now that I have the tail-between-my-legs introduction over with, it is time for me to share some things that have popped into my mind recently. I'm going to talk about being thankful. Yeah yeah yeah, I know. So cliché. Just hear me out. You're already here, right?

All of us have heard that phrase, "count your blessings!" many times in our lives. As I was venting to one of my friends about the petty things I tend to get worked up over, something happened. I had this strange, supernatural moment where my mind was overwhelmed with all these wonderful blessings I've been given by grace. It was crazy. Call it the Holy Spirit, someone's prayers being answered, or what- suddenly God reminded me of all these wonderful things on earth He has given out of grace.

Literally, within seconds I felt the petty burdens lift away. Here is what is interesting to me. For those of us who have experienced a huge transformation through Christ, we can pretty much agree that we believe things like family, shelter, food, etc. are things we should be thankful to God for providing for us. Agreed? Ok...

There is a huge debate between whether or not we choose God or God predestines whom He will choose. I am NOT going there (I'm too afraid to mention anything about that on here, ever), but here's what I will say. There was something supernatural about God intervening in my heart. The gritty, messy, moody Mari was getting increasingly worked up the more I complained, but for some reason God decided to stop me and soften my heart. If I am to assume that some unknown amount of goodness inside me existed without the intervention of God, is there really a God? What is the point of God's goodness when it is "inside" us without Him? How much good to we have? What is enough? It really is one or the other, people.

God is good. He is everything good. Only through the Holy Spirit's intervention into my heart am I saved, granted peace, humbled, and given salvation.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, not of yourselves, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest anyone should boast." -Romans 6:23

Here is another point. That verse I just wrote? I've had that memorized since I was 12 because I had to learn it for Awanas. I chose to memorize that verse. Even though I decided and made the effort to memorize the verse and get a nice shiny pin on my Awanas uniform, that does not mean God says, "Ok! Great job memorizing verses, Mari. I'm throwin' some peace your way." It is quite the opposite. I'm reading the verse I just typed from memory, and I am so ashamed to admit to you that I have felt self-righteous because, hey, I can recite many parts of the Bible from memory. Look how spiritual I am! The mentality I just mentioned is a complete contradiction to the verse itself! See? I'm pretty awful. No goodness in me, even if I tried.

Ok, so now what? Do I just sit back and do whatever I want since it's not up to me? No. Love Jesus and praise Him for giving you everything you have, whether it be emotional, spiritual, or physical blessings. Get to know this God that loves you. Praise Him for giving you the ability to love and to praise. All good is from God.

God has changed me. I really hope He can do the same for you.