12:12

I am writing this post at 12:12 a.m. Do you ever make a wish when the hour and the minutes are the same digits, such as 10:10, 11:11, etc.? I do! Just made one :-)

Anyways, I have some updates. At this point, I will be VERY impressed if any of you can even see this because, as of a week and a half ago, I deactivated my Facebook account. Yep. I did it. Now, for those of you who are a little more Facebook-savvy than you would like to admit, you know that deactivating a Facebook account is not the same thing as deleting a Facebook account.

Deactivating an account means that your profile is removed or hidden. Your account is temporarily gone until you feel like coming back. I think all you have to do is log in whenever you feel like coming back. We'll cross that bridge when I feel like coming back.

"Why do it?!!!" you might ask. In a nutshell, I was spending WAY too much time on there. I'm talking, every time I was at a computer I would check my Facebook before I would even check my e-mail. It is embarrassing to admit, but come on, people! I know I can't be the only person out there who does that!

Anyways, back to why I did it. I did it for a few reasons. First, I wondered what I would do with the extra time I had when I wasn't on Facebook. Also, to be quite honest, I think I was starting to spend more time looking through pictures, posts, etc. of people I hardly knew instead of making a phone call or sending an e-mail to a friend or family member I hadn't talked to in a while. I had a light bulb moment when a few people requested me as a friend, I accepted, then went to my profile and saw that I had almost 1,000 "friends."

Haha. If you saw my crrraaazzzyyy social life you would know that... umm... yeah... if I actually had 1,000 friends I think I would have to employ an army of personal assistants to keep my head above water. I don't think Facebook is bad- in fact, I still get so flattered when someone I haven't heard from in a while requests me to be their friend. It is nice to see what people are up to. I love living vicariously through other people's experiences- backpacking through Europe, buying a new home, being a beautiful bride (ok, come on girls, I know you think it too!)... you get the idea.

It hasn't been long, but it's still a little weird not getting on. Within the first few days of my fast I opened the Facebook app on my iPhone without even thinking about it. Fortunately, the login screen popped up, so I was able to say NO! When I start to get bored, I've thought, "Ok Mari, a week and a half was good for you. Time to go back." Then the little voice in my head tells me not yet.

So here I am. I'm sure you have figured out by now that this is probably the time I would have been on Facebook. Instead I'm finally updating my blog. As tempted as I am to get back on, I'm still curious to see what will end up happening with all the time I've accumulated that would have been spent on Facebook.

Stay tuned, my friends.

P.S. This has nothing to do with this post, but I came across a website for a non-profit called Han-Schneider International Children's Foundation. The founder is a native of North Korea who was adopted by a college professor who was serving in the US Army during the Korean War. He is terminally ill, but started a non-profit that aids North Korean orphanages, as well as orphanages in Cambodia and Tanzania. Just thought it was cool. Bye now :-)

Here I am

At the beginning of almost every post, I say something along the lines of, "wow, it has been a while." Well, that's what I feel like writing. So yeah... I really wish I could be like, Now is the time I will post an entry EVERY DAY! YEEAAHH!

Let's be real. It is pretty likely that writing in here every day is not going to happen. I just go through spurts where I think about posting something on here, then at the last minute decide not to. I have my reasons. Sometimes I decide it is a little TMI for the world wide web, but most of the time I just forget.

If you are reading this, chances are you saw the link in my Facebook profile. I'm not even sure this will pop up in a search. Meh.

Now that I have the tail-between-my-legs introduction over with, it is time for me to share some things that have popped into my mind recently. I'm going to talk about being thankful. Yeah yeah yeah, I know. So cliché. Just hear me out. You're already here, right?

All of us have heard that phrase, "count your blessings!" many times in our lives. As I was venting to one of my friends about the petty things I tend to get worked up over, something happened. I had this strange, supernatural moment where my mind was overwhelmed with all these wonderful blessings I've been given by grace. It was crazy. Call it the Holy Spirit, someone's prayers being answered, or what- suddenly God reminded me of all these wonderful things on earth He has given out of grace.

Literally, within seconds I felt the petty burdens lift away. Here is what is interesting to me. For those of us who have experienced a huge transformation through Christ, we can pretty much agree that we believe things like family, shelter, food, etc. are things we should be thankful to God for providing for us. Agreed? Ok...

There is a huge debate between whether or not we choose God or God predestines whom He will choose. I am NOT going there (I'm too afraid to mention anything about that on here, ever), but here's what I will say. There was something supernatural about God intervening in my heart. The gritty, messy, moody Mari was getting increasingly worked up the more I complained, but for some reason God decided to stop me and soften my heart. If I am to assume that some unknown amount of goodness inside me existed without the intervention of God, is there really a God? What is the point of God's goodness when it is "inside" us without Him? How much good to we have? What is enough? It really is one or the other, people.

God is good. He is everything good. Only through the Holy Spirit's intervention into my heart am I saved, granted peace, humbled, and given salvation.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, not of yourselves, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest anyone should boast." -Romans 6:23

Here is another point. That verse I just wrote? I've had that memorized since I was 12 because I had to learn it for Awanas. I chose to memorize that verse. Even though I decided and made the effort to memorize the verse and get a nice shiny pin on my Awanas uniform, that does not mean God says, "Ok! Great job memorizing verses, Mari. I'm throwin' some peace your way." It is quite the opposite. I'm reading the verse I just typed from memory, and I am so ashamed to admit to you that I have felt self-righteous because, hey, I can recite many parts of the Bible from memory. Look how spiritual I am! The mentality I just mentioned is a complete contradiction to the verse itself! See? I'm pretty awful. No goodness in me, even if I tried.

Ok, so now what? Do I just sit back and do whatever I want since it's not up to me? No. Love Jesus and praise Him for giving you everything you have, whether it be emotional, spiritual, or physical blessings. Get to know this God that loves you. Praise Him for giving you the ability to love and to praise. All good is from God.

God has changed me. I really hope He can do the same for you.

Flakey-Flake Flake

**This was originally written on September 7th! I just took a while to complete it... go figure...**

I promise I like blogging, I really do! As you have probably noticed, my last post was from seven months ago. Oops. I have been busy with life ;-).

Looking through my journal entries over the past few years, I notice right around New Year's I think back on the year that has just passed and how eventful it has been. Well, I guess I see myself as having a pretty eventful life, because 2010 was exceptionally eventful! Ladies and gentlemen, a brief look at what I have been doing since last March!

1. Emi and I took a FABULOUS trip to New York!

2. I ran my first half-marathon (with Emi as well!)!

3. Sadly, my wonderful Toyota Corolla, Betsy, was totaled in a car accident on March 25th. I sprained my neck and was in a lot of pain for a while, but the silver lining is that I was able to purchase a cute green Nissan Sentra I proudly named Clover.

 

4. I moved into an awesome apartment right along the Greenbelt. I literally walk outside of my apartment and I can go on a hike!

5. I went skydiving for the first time! Incredible! Anyone who knows me well enough knows I am TERRIFIED of heights so the fact that I jumped out of an airplane at 13,000 ft. and enjoyed it is a miracle :-)

6. I was able to go to Japan to attend my cousin's wedding and see my family! At least one post will be dedicated to that trip. Too much to mention for now!

... I guess I keep asking myself why I keep starting and stopping blogs. I think I have a few reasons:

1. If I don't get some sort of creative writing outlet then I will get depressed thinking that the only writing I really do are e-mails at work all day long.

2. I think the quality of my writing is deteriorating the longer I'm out of practice. When I write in my personal journal it's completely sloppy because I know the content will not be seen by anyone's eyes but mine :-). Writing in a blog will hopefully force me to evaluate my writing.

3. I can entertain people who are bored.

 As you can tell, not feeling too insightful tonight. Meh, I guess that's part of the fun. Thanks for reading and I promise there is more to come!